Wheeling with new wheels

I reconnected with my childhood friend. She used to walk and it seemed like she had a lot of opportunities in her future. She was from a really broken home with no advocates to "push" her. Decades later it's no different except she gained a ton of weight, uses a wheelchair, and has attendent care. I guess I made her feel badly but I tried to subtly bring it up. She still had excuse after excuse. It is very unlikely that she would sudenly get motivated now. I can't imagine how it didn't bother her but I have learned that you can not project yourself onto another. Just cause I feel a sense of need to succeed doe not mean someone else would or should. I have to accept that.